


Evan's Firsts

by hopingforaword



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Best Friends, Bisexual!Connor, Daydreaming, Double Date, First Date, First boyfriend, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Motorcycles, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Pizza, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, bisexual!evan, first things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-01-26 12:04:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12556980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopingforaword/pseuds/hopingforaword
Summary: Evan's never had a friend, let alone a kiss or a date. When Connor Murphy asks to sign his cast on the first day of senior year, his whole world changes.





	1. Friend

“Can I sign your cast?”  
The looming figure of Connor Murphy appeared in front of Evan. Evan had never understood how Connor, who was six feet tall and all limbs, ever managed to sneak up on anyone, and yet he was constantly appearing places. 

“I mean, then we can both pretend we have friends.”

Evan nodded, handing Connor a Sharpie. Connor wrote his name in huge letters that took up an entire side of Evan’s cast. Connor handed back the Sharpie and said, “I’m surprised no one else has signed it. I mean, you’re not popular or anything but I thought at the very last that Kloonman kid would sign it.”

“Kleinman. Jared, I mean. We-we’re not friends, b-but our moms are.” Evan’s hand shook as he put away his Sharpie and looked at Connor. There was something different about him, and it had always bothered Evan that he couldn’t pin down what it was. Something in his expression. “I wouldn’t w-want people to sign anyway. Don’t need anyone’s p-pity.”

Connor nodded. “I get that. So you want to go get burgers during lunch?” 

“Why?”

Connor shook his head and smiled in a way that Evan was positive no one had ever seen on Connor Murphy’s face. “So we can keep pretending to be friends.”

 

Connor was standing next to Evan’s locker when Evan got to the senior hallway. “H-how’d you know which one’s mine?” he asked as he opened his locker to grab his sweater.

“Hansen would be between Hannigan and Johnson,” Connor said, shrugging, “It’s not that hard to figure out.” Evan closed his locker and started walking away. 

“You’re pretty smart,” Evan said, running to catch up with him. Connor shrugged again. “You are! I sat behind you in precalc last year and you did r-really well.”

“You sound surprised,” Connor said, throwing the front door of the school open. 

“No!” Evan said, shaking his head in alarm, “N-not surprised, just–”

Connor laughed. “I get it, Evan. Everyone writes me off. Parents, sister, teachers… I get it. I’m not an overachiever, like Alana. I don’t party like the jocks. I don’t really do anything, so everyone thinks I  _ can’t _ do anything. I don’t care.”

“But if you do well, why do your teachers write you off? And your parents?”

“‘Just show a little interest in my class, Mr. Murphy.’ ‘Connor, why don’t you ever  _ do _ anything?’ ‘High again, Connor?’” He let out a harsh sigh. “I could do everything and it would never be enough. The only reason I still do anything is if I didn’t have at least one thing my mother would pick me up from school herself.”

Evan nodded. “So what’s your one thing?”

“Dance.” Connor held open the door of his favorite lunch spot, My Burger, and Evan walked in. Connor followed him and walked up to the counter. “Hi, I’d like a classic, medium rare, fries, and a Sprite.” He turned to Evan. “What do you want?”

Evan laughed awkwardly and shook his head. “You don’t have to–”

“What else are pretend friends for?”

Evan laughed again and said, “I-I guess I’ll have the same.”

Connor jerked his head towards the booths behind them and said, “Why don’t you go grab a table? I’ll wait for the food.”

Evan sat down in a booth, taking off his backpack and sweater. He looked back at Connor, and wondered how the hell this day had taken such an odd turn. First day of senior year, and he was getting lunch with Connor Murphy, one of the most confusing people in the world. He seemed like such a loner, too cool for anyone else, including his sister. A lot of the girls in Evan’s grade thought Connor was hot “in the messed up and unattainable kind of way” but there had also been six guys the previous year who had bragged that Connor had begged them to sleep with him. He got near perfect grades, but showed up to school high out of his mind at least once a week. Evan’s mom had been right about one thing; this year would certainly be a new start.

Connor sat down across from Evan and set a tray of food down on the table. He immediately started eating, taking a giant bite out of his burger. “Fuck, I love burgers,” he said almost reverently. “Sorry, I forgot you don’t curse.”

“I curse,” Evan protested, picking up a fry, “Just not a lot.”

Connor nodded, chewing on another piece of burger. “So what’s your deal, Evan Hansen?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean, what’s your deal? Why are you so quiet? Shit like that.”

Evan took a sip of his Sprite, thinking. “I have an anxiety disorder,” he said quietly, thinking he’d scare Connor away now instead of waiting. But Connor didn’t make a face, or tell Evan to just get over it already, or ask if he was in therapy, he just nodded.

“How’d you break your arm?”

“I fell.”

Connor gasped. “Really? I never would’ve guessed!” He rolled his eyes. “No shit, you fell. I was hoping for a more specific story.”

“I fell out of a tree.”

“I like trees. Used to love ‘em. My mom would drive us to the orchard around the way and I’d climb as high as I could and just… look. You know, before it all got back. Back when I did things.” Connor sighed. “I used to fucking love trees.” He wiped his face with a napkin and looked at Evan. “And now, you will tell me every rumor you’ve heard about me, and I’ll tell you if they’re true or not.”

“What? W-why?”

Connor rolled his eyes. “So we can be real friends, Evan.”

“Did you really beg those guys to sleep with you?”

“I do  _ not _ beg. I ask nicely.  _ And _ they said yes, which is pretty good for some freaky guy who everyone talks about.”

“You’re gay?”

Connor shrugged. “I like people. I don’t like labels. Bisexual fits, I guess.”

Evan nodded, shaking slightly as he ate his fries. “Do you really get high once a week?”

“Get high? Yes. Come to school high?” He sighed. “Only when it’s been a really bad week. I average like one day a month.”

Evan nodded again, feeling like his head would fall off from the nodding. “Okay.”

Connor stood up, gathering up their garbage and returning the tray. Evan stood up, following him until he stepped outside. 

“So do you want to come to my place tonight?”

Evan started. “W-what?”

Connor laughed. “We can study for the calc quiz, drink Sprite, and, y’know, maybe I can get you to string more than three words together.” Connor hit him on the back and Evan coughed before he started laughing, still bewildered at the idea that Connor Murphy wanted to be friends with him.

  
  


In early December, Evan was over at Connor’s house studying for a calculus test. Evan was seated at Connor’s desk and Connor was sprawled out on his bed. He closed the textbook softly and set it on the ground, looking at Evan. “Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you like boys?”

Evan’s head whipped around so quickly, Connor worried that he had hurt his neck. “W-what? Why? Why do you want to know?”

Connor shrugged. “We’re friends, and you never talk about anyone, girls or boys, so I thought maybe you liked guys and you were still coming to terms with it. I don’t care, I’m just wondering.”

“Yeah. Guys and girls, I guess.”

“Anyone in particular?” Connor said, flipping a page of his textbook. 

“N-n–” Evan cleared his throat, thinking for a second. Was he willing to risk losing the only friend he had? “Not really.”

“That’s too bad,” Connor said, flipping another page of his textbook, “Because I like you.”

There was a moment of absolute silence as Evan looked at Connor, mouth open. “What?”

“Yeah, I like you. Is that so surprising?”

“Absolutely!” Evan said, “This isn’t a joke, right?”

Connor tilted his head. “No. Do you want to go out with me?”

“Like on a date?”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Yes, like on a date.”

“Yeah,” Evan breathed, “Yeah, I’d… I’d like that.” Connor grinned and Evan’s stomach swooped to know that he was the cause of it. “Now stop distracting me. My calc grade could use a 96 on this test.”


	2. Date and Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> connor has a motorcycle because i'm garbage

“You like pizza, right?” Connor said as Evan clipped Connor’s spare helmet under his chin.

“Of course I like pizza. You  _ know _ I like pizza.” Evan smiled at Connor. “Stop worrying, Connor. It’s going to be fun.” He smiled shyly before he said, “You know I’ve n-never ridden a motorcycle, right?”

Connor laughed, sitting down at the handlebars. “It’s perfectly safe. Just hold on tight.” Connor started the motor and Evan sat down behind him, wrapping his arms around Connor’s waist and pressing his face against his back. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Evan called over the sound of the engine, “I’m r-ready.”

Connor smiled and pulled away from the curb.

 

“This pizza is amazing,” Evan said into a slice of pizza piled with onions, peppers, olives, and mushrooms.

“Told you,” Connor said, “It’s fucking great pizza.” Connor took a bite of a sausage and pepperoni slice and smiled at Evan. “So, Evan, are you having a good time?”

Evan blushed. “Yeah. It’s fun. You know, I’ve never been on a date before.”

“Me neither, really,” Connor said, taking a sip of his Sprite.

“What about those guys?”

Connor shifted in his seat, fiddling with the buttons of his flannel shirt. “Well, you know, I just kinda… we didn’t date, we just…” Evan placed a warm hand on Connor’s and smiled.

“It doesn’t matter to me, Connor. I’m just glad I get to go out with you now.” Evan smiled, and Connor’s heart melted. He scratched the back of his head.

“You know, I’ve got a lot of issues Evan. Like, if you made a Connor Murphy pros and cons list, there’d probably be a lot more cons than pros.” Evan made a noise of disagreement, but Connor plowed on. “All I’m saying is, if you want an out, this is it. I won’t be mad if you want to just keep being friends.”

“You d-don’t hold back on your flaws,” Evan said, looking at the table in front of Connor. “You present yourself issues first. You sc-scare people off without giving them the chance to know you. I-If I wanted a way out, I would’ve just s-stopped coming over in September.” He took a deep breath. “I like you, Connor, a lot. Even if you can be scary, you’re p-pretty and funny and nice to me. You comfort me when I’m scared.” He smiled more brightly, still not looking directly at Connor. “Plus, you like me, and you don’t sound like you’re going to give up on me and my cons anytime soon.”

“So what does this mean?” Connor asked, picking up Evan’s hand from the table.

“What do you want it to mean?”

Connor tilted Evan’s chin up so their eyes met. “Evan Hansen, will you be my boyfriend?”

Evan blushed furiously, grinning. “Shut u-up, Connor. Of course I will.” Still blushing, Evan continued to eat his pizza, only mildly hindered by holding his boyfriend’s hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 3 january 7th


	3. Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy three king's day! here's evan and connor kissing for the first time

When they came out of the restaurant, it was raining. Connor looked at the sky angrily, as if they had an agreement that it wouldn’t rain on this particular day, but Evan grinned at him. 

“I love the rain.”

“Are you sure? We could hide at a sixteen handles or something and wait out the storm. Or I could get Zoe to come pick us up and I could get my bike tomorrow.”

“You’re sweet, Connor, but I love walking in the rain. Unless you’re scared of getting a little wet.” Evan raised his eyebrows at Connor, who smirked back. 

“You wish, Hansen. I’m not scared of anything.” Connor stepped out onto the sidewalk, the pouring rain soaking him almost instantly. 

“Everyone’s scared of something,” Evan said, starting to walk down the rainy street. “I’m scared of a lot of things. Spiders, being underground, drowning.” He bit his lip and looked at Connor. “You.”

Connor clicked his tongue. “Evan, I haven’t been scary to you in at least two months.”

“Maybe not, but you scared the crap out of those freshmen in the cafeteria.” Connor laughed and Evan smiled at the sound. “Maybe that’s not what I meant when I said you scare me.’

Connor looked over at Evan and half-smiled before looking at the obscured street in front of them. “Maybe I’m scared of you too, Evan Hansen.”

They walked in silence for a bit. Connor felt Evan's hand brush against his twice. He looked down and saw Evan's hand hanging by his side. Connor, steeling himself slightly, reached out and grabbed Evan's hand. Evan looked at their intertwined fingers and smiled at Connor. They walked silently for a little while longer, each boy thinking about how sweaty their hand was and whether or not the other could hear their heart racing. 

“I’ve never seen you dance,” Evan said abruptly. 

“What?”

“You told me you dance, but I’ve never seen you dance.”

“There’s not enough space anywhere but my basement.”

“Or out here.” Connor looked at him and Evan shrugged. “There’s space. No one’s out here. And I want to see you dance.”

Connor bit his lip, looking at Evan, before he broke into a grin. “Yeah. Okay.” He let go of Evan’s hand and Evan couldn’t contain his smile as Connor seemed to fly over the concrete, his feet barely touching the ground before he was up again, spinning and cutting through the air. When he finally stopped in front of Evan, breathing heavily, Evan grinned at him. 

“That was amazing,” he whispered reverently, “and kind of hot.”

Connor brushed Evan's wet hair off of his forehead. They stood still for an impossibly short minute before Connor leaned forward and kissed Evan. He pulled back quickly and said, “I’m sorry.”

Evan shook his head. “Do it again.”

 

“It’s clearing up,” Evan said, holding onto the sides of Connor’s unbuttoned flannel, “We should get back to your bike.”

Connor smiled down at him, hands wrapped around Evan’s waist. “But what if I want to stay here with you forever?”

Evan pushed Connor playfully. “You can’t go soft on me, Murphy. I need you to protect me from the big, bad world out there.”

Connor pulled Evan into a hug, and kissed his forehead. “I’ll always protect you, Evan.”

Evan laughed in Connor’s arms. “That’s two for two on cheesiness. C’mon, let’s get home. My mom will get worried.”

“What, Heidi doesn’t trust me?”

“She does,” Evan said, “I just have some work I have to finish while I daydream about my boyfriend and she asks why I’m so out of focus.”

“I like the sound of that,” Connor said, letting go of Evan. “Let’s get you home, and then I can stare at the ceiling and daydream about my boyfriend.” He led Evan to the bicycle, the two boys holding hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter four february 11th!


	4. Sleepover

“Have you ever had an orgasm, Evan?”

Evan choked on the Coca-Cola he'd been sipping. “Wh-what?”

“It's a perfectly normal question for one boyfriend to ask another. Have you ever had an orgasm?” Connor sat looking at him in that dead-on way that almost scared Evan into telling him the truth. He loved that about Connor and he hated that about Connor. 

“Of-of course I have, everyone has, haven't they? I mean—”

“Not counting unconscious ones,” Connor said, still staring but smiling slightly. “Have you ever purposely given yourself an orgasm or let someone give you one?”

Evan laughed uncomfortably. “Connor, you know you're my first b-boyfriend and you were my first kiss so obviously no one's ever done...that to me so I don't know why you're–”

Connor reached out slowly to hold Evan's face and Evan relaxed into his touch. He hadn't even realized he was rambling until he felt Connor's long fingers brushing over his cheeks. “Stop stalling, Ev. I just want to know. I won't judge you for whatever you say.”

Evan looked down at his own hands. “No. I've never... I've never orgasmed on purpose. Why do you want to know?”

Connor kissed Evan's nose gently. “Because, as your first amazing boyfriend, it is part of my duty as a more experienced person to guide you through the sex stuff and I just wanted to know where I was starting from.”

“Square one,” Evan half-laughed, and Connor pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. 

Connor asked, “So, if you don't mind me asking, why not?”

Evan shrugged. “Never felt like it, I guess? I don't know. It never felt important or really comfortable. I guess I'd like it better with you. I don't know, Connor!” Evan took a deep breath, trying to calm his frazzled nerves. “Maybe I was doing it wrong? How do you do it?”

“You want me to tell you about how I jack off?” Evan's cheeks turned red and Connor smiled. “I will, if you really want me to.” Evan nodded and Connor laughed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the headboard. He crossed his arms behind his head and thought. Evan watched his every move. “Well it starts with thinking. I used to think about all sorts of things, but lately it’s just been one thing. You, Evan.” Connor smiled and Evan blushed, still watching his boyfriend intently. Connor moved a little and sighed. “Yeah, I think about you. I imagine you’re there, curled up next to me, warm and cuddly. We’re both half asleep, just in pajama pants, and you kiss my cheek gently, the way that you do. And one of your hands drops to trace the inside of my thigh slowly.” Connor blinked his eyes open and said, “At this point I start doing what I imagine, you know?” Evan nodded, staring entranced at Connor, who closed his eyes again. “So you’re running your hand up and down my thigh, feather light, teasing, and I get exasperated and you know, so you laugh all pretty and push my pajamas off and pull down my boxers and you run your hand along the bare skin of my leg until your hand reaches my dick.” He paused, and in a suddenly adult-like tone said, “Are you okay, Evan?”

“Uh-huh,” Evan whispered, “What do I do next?”

“Well,” Connor said, suddenly blushing. “You, uh, I put my hand in my pants and uh,” he cleared his throat, “I think you get the idea.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah.”

Connor cocked his head. “Evan? Does it bother you that I imagine you?”

“No,” Evan said, shaking his head vigorously, “Not at all. It’s just something I have to think about now.” Evan smiled at Connor. “I really want to kiss you right now.” 

“Then come here.” Connor pulled Evan onto his lap. He smiled at Evan for a second before leaning forward and kissing him. Evan didn’t have much experience, but he loved kissing Connor. Evan never realized, having never kissed anyone, that he could feel a kiss through his whole body. But as Connor pressed Evan’s lips apart, making room for his tongue, Evan felt the kiss in his toes, in his fingers, everywhere. He dove into the kiss, putting his worries about sex aside.

Thirty minutes later, Evan pulled back from Connor. “I think I like sleepovers.”

Connor laughed. “If every sleepover means I get to fluster you and kiss you, then I like sleepovers too.”  

“I’m tired,” Evan whispered into Connor’s neck.

“Then let’s sleep.” Connor laid down, and pulled Evan down so they were spooning. “You’re adorable, Evan Hansen.”

“I really like you, Connor Murphy.” Evan closed his eyes and went to sleep.


	5. Orgasm Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New month, new chapter, new rating! Evan confronts his anxieties about sex in a very hands-on way.

Evan watched Connor pull away from the curb on his motorcycle and smiled. The weekend had been the most fun he had ever had. In the few months he had been dating Connor, Evan could see both of them changing into happier people. They didn’t have a lot of friends, but now they had each other. Along with that, Evan thought he was braver. He kissed Connor in public, something that would’ve made his stomach churn a year ago, and they held hands in school. He turned away from the window with a sigh and went up to his bedroom. 

Lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling, Evan replayed the entire weekend with Connor in his head, smiling absently. He squirmed remembering the conversation he and Connor had had about orgasms and mastubation. Evan had never had an older brother or a guy friend or even a dad to talk about sex with, and the whole thing made him pretty anxious. What if he didn’t do it right? What if he hurt himself or the other person?

_ “You want me to tell you about how I jack off?”  _ The words were still ringing in Evan’s ears, and he couldn’t believe he had actually said yes. He pictured Connor leaned back against the headboard, hair up in his trademark messy ponytail, eyes closed, lips moving mesmerizingly slowly.  _ “Yeah, I think about you.” _ Evan wanted to sit on Connor’s lap and kiss him until they both exploded. The Connor in Evan’s imagination was suddenly shirtless. Evan had seen Connor shirtless a handful of times, but every time Evan’s heart stuttered and it took him a minute to catch his breath and Connor smiled the way he always did when Evan did something adorably awkward.

An imaginary Evan had joined the imaginary Connor on the bed, and imaginary Evan was shirtless too, and then the two imaginary boys were kissing, and Evan felt his pulse quicken half-imagining half-remembering what kissing Connor shirtless was like. Imaginary Connor rolled over imaginary Evan, and Connor was kissing his way down Evan’s chest, and his hands were on Evan’s belt buckle and–

Evan had a boner.

A real one, not just imaginary Evan. Evan blushed as he imagined telling his thoughts to Connor. No wonder Connor had stopped telling Evan. Connor had probably had a boner too, and Evan knew he would’ve been mortified in Connor’s place. But here, in the safety of his bedroom, he was alone. 

Evan checked the time on his cell phone. His mom wouldn’t be home for three hours. Evan stood up and locked the door to his bedroom, just in case, and pulled the curtains shut. He laid back down on his bed in the now dark room and slowly undid his belt and his fly. Evan put his hand over his boxers as he blushed again. This was silly. This was awkward. What would people say if they knew? Would they be able to tell just from looking at him? Maybe he shouldn’t do it at all.

Connor, smiling and shirtless, burst into Evan’s head. Connor, who thought that Evan was sexy enough to think about him when he masturbated. Connor, who made Evan feel beautiful when he smiled at him. Connor, who would care about Evan whether he did this or not. Connor, who Evan wanted to have sex with.

Evan started at his own train of thought. He had never wanted to have sex with anyone before Connor. But he had never had a friend or a boyfriend before Connor either. Connor would know what to do. Connor would make Evan feel amazing. 

Evan pulled off his shirt and pushed down his jeans. He slid his hand into his boxers and tentatively wrapped his hand around his penis. Evan was overwhelmed by how warm it was, and how soft the skin felt, and how it jumped in his hand. He took a deep breath, and imagined that he was with Connor, that Connor was touching him. His hand began to move in short, even strokes, and Evan let out a quiet gasp at how good it felt. He imagined Connor leaning up and pushing his tongue into Evan’s mouth as he gasped, and Evan’s gasp turned into a moan. He’d be a puddle on a bed when Connor did this to him, and Evan moaned again at the realization that sometime soon, Connor would be doing this to him. Evan imagined tangling his fingers in Connor’s hair, and knew that Connor would retaliate by grabbing Evan’s. Evan’s free hand grabbed a handful of his own hair and he came with a loud exhale.

Evan laid there panting, and smiled at the ceiling. The revelation that he would be comfortable with Connor doing things to him wasn’t, to him, as monumental as the revelation that he was excited to do things to Connor. Evan knew that Connor wouldn’t laugh at him, or let him make a fool of himself. Connor would show Evan, and even if it wasn’t perfect (and when is anything involving two teenagers ever perfect?), Evan knew Connor would still care about him. Evan grinned, and stood up to take a shower.


	6. Double Date

“So, I have some bad news.”

“Good morning, Connor,” Evan said, kissing him on the cheek.

Connor sighed and rolled his eyes with a smile. “Good morning, Evan. I have some bad news.”

“What is it?” Evan asked, rummaging through his locker. 

“We’re going on a double date with Zoe and Alana.”

Evan closed his locker and looked at Connor with a shrug. “Sounds fine to me. What are we doing?”

“That’s the bad news. They want us to plan the date. They didn’t believe me when I said we go on dates and don’t just make out in the basement, so Zoe said we have to plan the date.”

“We don’t always just make out in your basement. But we do a lot.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Hansen. Can you plan a double date that doesn’t make us look like we’re just fucking in the house all the time?”

Evan cleared his throat. “Sure. And uh, later can we, uh, talk?”

“Of course, what about?”

Evan looked around the hallway, wringing his hands. He finally looked at Connor and whispered, “Sex?”

Connor smiled broadly, reaching out to hold Evan’s hands steady. “Sure.” The bell rang, and Connor kissed Evan on the cheek. “I’ve gotta get to class.” He ran off and Evan, slightly dazed, walked the other way to calculus.

 

“Bowling.” Evan sat down at the lunch table and smiled triumphantly at his boyfriend.

Connor chewed his mac and cheese, thoroughly unfazed. He swallowed before asking, “What about bowling?”

“That’s the solution to your ‘bad news.’”

“You want us to go bowling with Zoe and Alana?”

“It’s perfect! It’s enough of an activity that there’s something to do if it gets awkward, but also enough time to talk if we want to. Plus there’s food at bowling alleys.” Evan blushed as Connor stared at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” Evan raised his eyebrows. “Nothing, babe, I swear. You’re just… you’re very smart, Evan. I’m very lucky.”

Evan blushed even more furiously and looked down at his mozzarella sticks, blinking slowly. “I–” He cleared his throat and looked up at Connor, who was startled to see tears in his eyes.

Connor reached out and held Evan’s hand. “Evan, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing! I’m lucky to have you, too.” Evan wiped his eyes with his free hand. “God, this is so dumb, I’m sorry.” Connor ran his thumb over the back of Evan’s hand reassuringly, and Evan smiled softly.

“You know you’re not supposed to make your boyfriend cry, right Connor?” Zoe sat down with a laugh, and Alana sat down next to Evan. 

“What do you know about boyfriends?” Connor said drily, releasing Evan’s hand and raising an eyebrow at his sister.

“Touché,” Zoe laughed, “I guess you would know much more about that than we would, right Alana?”

“Hey, I’ve had  _ a _ boyfriend,” Alana said.

Zoe laughed. “And he turned out to be gay! And so did you!” She turned to Evan, who was laughing gently. “What’s your deal, Evan? You just quiet?”

“Zoe!” Alana and Connor both smacked her gently.

“What, I’m just asking!”

“You can’t just ask people why they’re quiet,” Alana said, taking a bite out of her sandwich.

“It’s fine,” Evan said, softly, “I know it can be a little off-putting to people that I don’t talk much. I’m just quiet, especially around new people.”

“The two of you aren’t that quiet when you come into the house and I’m home,” Zoe said, rolling her eyes.

Connor shrugged, swallowing a sip of his soda. “Could be worse. We could be fucking really loudly.” Evan blushed red as Zoe and Alana laughed.

“Oh, like that time I walked in on you and what’s-his-face last year?”

“In my defense, you walked into the basement, which is mine because that’s where my room is.”

“In my defense,” Zoe said, “The basement is also where the second fridge is and I called you three times and knocked on the basement door for two solid minutes. But whatever.” She laughed. “I guess it’s better than any potential walking in on Mom and Dad situation.” Connor choked on his soda and Evan and Alana laughed.

“So what are we doing on our double date this Saturday?” Alana asked.

“We’re gonna go bowling,” Evan said shyly. Alana and Zoe nodded.

“Sounds good to me,” Alana said.

Laughing, Zoe said, “I honestly didn’t think you guys ever did anything besides whatever nasty shit you get up to in the basement.” She finished her sandwich and balled up the tinfoil. “Catch you guys later.” She kissed Alana on the cheek as she stood up. “Bye, babe.” She left the cafeteria.

“I’m gonna head to class too. See you guys on Saturday.” Alana left, and Evan and Connor stared uncomfortably at each other. 

Connor broke the silence. “I haven’t actually said anything to her about us, you know, but I think she just assumes.”

“Because of the other guys.”

Connor nodded.

Evan took a deep breath. “I really like you, Connor, you know that, and I uh… I didn’t used to really think about sex all that much, because it made me anxious. But uh, I was, you know, thinking about it the other day and I don’t think I would get nervous. I mean, with you. Does that make any sense?” Evan laughed breathlessly and scratched his head. 

Connor picked up Evan’s hands and held them lightly. “I think so. So you’re saying you think, based on the fact that you thought about us having sex, that you might be able to without getting nervous?” Evan nodded and Connor grinned, lowering his voice slightly. “You thought about us having sex?” Evan smiled sheepishly and nodded again. “What did you think about?”

Evan opened his mouth to respond, but closed it with a smile. “If you behave on the double date with Zoe and Alana, I’ll show you on Saturday.”  

Connor gaped at him. “Are you serious?” 

Evan smiled. “Of course. I mean, unless I get anxious. But I don’t think I will. At least, I hope not. What if I get anxious, Connor?”

Connor stood up and leaned over the table, planting a gentle kiss on Evan’s forehead. “Then we won’t do anything. Come on, you’re going to be late for physics.”

Evan smiled at him and stood up. “I’ll see you later, babe.”

 

Saturday found Connor and Evan waiting outside the bowling alley for Alana and Zoe. Just as Evan was going to ask where they were, Alana and Zoe came around the corner, giggling and holding hands. “Sorry!” Zoe called out when they were a few yards away.

“We got a bit carried away,” Alana laughed, brushing her hair out of her face. 

“They have a standing sleepover date every weekend,” Connor whispered into Evan’s ear. “Let’s go bowling,” he said to the whole group. The two boys followed Alana and Zoe into the bowling alley, renting a lane for two games and shoes. They walked over to their lane, and Zoe laughed as she sat on Alana’s lap to change her shoes. Evan smiled, settling into the seat next to Connor. He wondered if he’d ever feel comfortable enough in public to sit in Connor’s lap.

Connor stood up and winked at Evan, picking up a 12 pound ball and effortlessly rolling a 9. There was polite applause as Zoe stood up and bowled a strike. 

“What the fuck?” Alana asked. “Did I get suckered into a bowling double date with a fucking bowling family?”

Zoe laughed and Connor shrugged, one arm around Evan’s shoulder. “We used to bowl a lot as kids before the shit hit the fan. I didn’t think either of us had retained anything from it, but I guess we did.”

Evan smiled at Alana. “You know that means we just have to beat them, right?” Alana smiled back as she stood up to take her turn. 

Connor ended up winning, but Alana was only five points behind him. “This was surprisingly fun,” Zoe said, eating the last of her fries. 

“Surprisingly? What are you implying Murphy?” Connor asked, laughing.

“Only that you’ve been a surly bitch for the past three years and I’ve never had a conversation with Evan, so I was worried this would suck.”

“It was your idea!”

“It was my idea,” Alana admitted, “And it did go very well, if I do say so myself.”

Evan nodded. “This was a lot of fun.”

“We’re gonna head out,” Zoe said, standing up.

“Wait, wait,” Connor said, reaching out for his sister’s sweater, “You’re not going back to the house, are you?”

“I don’t have to. Why,” she smirked, looking at Evan and back at her brother, “do you guys need it for something?”

“Get lost, Z.” Zoe rolled her eyes and blew her brother a kiss before leaving with Alana.

Evan turned to Connor, eyebrows raised. “Are we going back to your house?”

“Yeah. You ready?”

“Yup,” Evan said, standing up and putting his jacket back on, “Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [tumblr](http://darkmindbrightspirit.tumblr.com) with prompts, ideas, art, questions, anything. i'm a hoe for interaction with the people (that extends to kudoses and comments too)  
> 


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